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In an effort to force politicians to deal with the looming porcine cliff, I am hereby renouncing any prior decisions I had made to vote for a Presidential candidate. I am now a single-issue uncommitted voter living in the most important state in the union: Florida. The candidate with the best bacon policy wins my vote. Let the bidding begin.
Readers, feel free to offer suggested policy remedies for the candidates. Bonus points if your solution corresponds to the opposing campaign's caricature of a candidate.
I, Mitt Romney, propose that unlike our vegetable-eating coward-in-chief, that all regulatory burdens on pig farmers be suspended until the great Obama Bacon Shortage has ended. No more shall the job-creating pig farmer be relegated to staying certain distances from schools, hospitals, residential developments or population centers. One of my first acts in office will be to designate the national mall a pig-breeding ground, and my first meal shall be BACON!
ReplyDeletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ROq5s1FKqvk
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ReplyDeleteRomney campaign: "This is a Islamist plot to impose Sharia cooking on the West. As if death panels weren't bad enough, now this administration wants to distort the market and choose what you get to eat. Upon taking office, I will immediately release the strategic bacon reserves, abolish costly regulations on livestock ranching, and press Congress to make permanent the Bush tax cuts. "
ReplyDeleteReaders, feel free to offer suggested policy remedies for the candidates. Bonus points if your solution corresponds to the opposing campaign's caricature of a candidate.
ReplyDeleteCalifornia Short Sales